Author: Marlys Lawry Page 29 of 54

A friend of mine started dating a man six months after he was diagnosed with cancer. At the start of their relationship, he was open about his health issues. And then cancer showed up stronger, and he walled himself off.

Photo credit: Unsplash

“He won’t let me give him any hands-on care,” my friend said. “And he doesn’t want me to be there emotionally for him.”

The couple split a few months later because the guy wasn’t willing to let my friend into his pain. Which means he turned away an amazing gift of love and support.

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I met him this past week at the coffee machine in my son and daughter-in-law’s Tucson apartment complex. We exchanged pleasantries and then I asked – shamelessly – how long he’d been in a wheelchair.

Photo: Marlys

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One of the lessons cancer taught us was to pay closer attention. To life. To time ticking away. To simple pleasures, such as, sound of water rushing over large boulders; smell of sunbaked pine needles; strain of muscles and sense of accomplishment; another hike together, even as cancer was stealing a little more of my husband’s life each day.

Sept 2013 in Wyoming’s Tetons – nine years into a terminal cancer diagnosis

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My friend (and jewelry designer) Jim Dailing shot this updated Renew | Repurpose photo with a beautiful renovated barn hiding behind the pink blossoms. (Thank you, Jim … I love it!)

Photo credit: Jim Dailing

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Long-time readers know I’ve blogged about brave-making campaigns and about keeping Friday date night — a weekly tradition established before my husband, Gary, died of cancer.

But this is my first blog about a brave-making Friday date.

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Cancer Adventures has expanded beyond cancer—new name: Renew | Repurpose—with a mission of helping people discover fresh purpose in seasons of loss.

The concept of repurposing catches my imagination. It’s the idea of adapting something for a purpose other than its original intent — a purpose that can be just as valuable, and effective, and gorgeous.

Like this barn. Once a habitat for animals and hay, and maybe even varmints. And now a beautiful house.

Not my house

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The New Jersey crew is on an epic cross-country road trip—six grandkids and two parents in an eight-passenger van—visiting family in Iowa, Utah, California, Oregon, Idaho.

And I’ve been re-experiencing the wonders of the Wild Wild West through their eyes.

Photo: Summer Conn

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You may have heard how important it is to have supportive, like-minded, understanding people surround you. But support teams come with a high price tag, so you really want to consider the costs before you commit to plugging into community.

Here are 11 excellent reasons not to get involved with any kind of support team:

1. The people in support groups lack determination.

Part of the St. Charles Cancer Center hiking posse on top of Black Butte

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While on a recent Middle Eastern adventure, my nieces and I crossed from Israel into Jordan and rode through barren wilderness to Petra, a historical and archaeological city named among the “New 7 Wonders of the World.”

The Treasury (photo: Breanna Canclini)

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There were no mishaps in the past two weeks of traveling through Israel, and crossing the border into Jordan and Egypt.

Photo credit: Camel driver’s young son

No mishaps landing in San Francisco, getting through customs, or driving north to Oregon. Until.

Until — just ten minutes from home — my tire blew.

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