Author: Marlys Lawry Page 46 of 54

One of our cancer team members was *finding meaning.* And one of the ways we established meaning and purpose was by sharing our story with various audiences across the country.

But here’s the irony: Hubby would have paid to not have to get up in front of people and speak. Jon Acuff, in his book Quitter: Closing the Gap Between Your Day Job and Your Dream Job, wrote:

If you admit that there is a chance that you are good, perhaps even great at something, you should feel a little uncomfortable. Because if your gift is not nothing, that means it is something. And a gift that is something is always a little terrifying.

Doing nothing—putting your feet up on the coffee table and watching other people lead extraordinary lives—is so much more comfortable than using your gifts.

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You’d think I’d be finished with all the business matters of becoming a widow, right? You’d be wrong. I made the mistake of calling Barclay to find out how to get my refund from a purchase made on one of my credit cards. When the Customer Service Rep learned why the primary name on the account (Hubby – although it doesn’t appear as *Hubby * on the card, but as *Gary*) couldn’t come to the phone—could never ever come to the phone ever again—she cancelled the two Barclay cards. Immediately.

“But you can’t cancel. You still have my money.” Turns out, they can cancel. And turns out, they get to keep my money for two invoice cycles. Interest-free. Although had it been the other way around, I wouldn’t have gotten away with interest-free money.

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It’s always so much fun sad when The Parents leave and the grandma has the grandkidlets all to herself. It’s also a little dangerous. For example, yesterday the 6-year-old decided I needed a make-over. The 14-year-old warned me: “You might want her to go easy on the eye shadow. Otherwise you’ll look like you have two black eyes.” She speaks from experience.

This reminded me that Hubby used to talk about giving cancer a black eye. Which is defined as getting off the couch and doing something you don’t necessarily feel like doing.

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They loved their grandpa despite that fact that he teased them mercilessly. Or maybe because of it.

So how do you explain cancer to grandchildren? And how do you help them through their loss? Here are three ways:

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Lilly, the petite but strong fourteen-year-old, tested for her mixed martial arts black belt on Sunday. In front of a panel of stern-looking judges. All wearing black.

Lilly goes in for the takedown

So why would you want your daughter to learn to fight? Simple. Because you never know when she might face a formidable opponent. Because you would want her to respond with skill and good judgment.

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“What if Grandpa was holding my other hand and you guys could swing me again,” commented the six-year-old as we walked to the park. She remembers the grandpa who teased the grandkids. The grandpa who interacted with them; who thought their names were all George for some reason.

I miss this good man. Every day. But what if, when you face hard things, you could come out on the other side wiser, kinder, stronger? Would it be worth it? I’m thinking yes, not that I go looking for hard things.

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The Jersey family is getting ready to expand. Daughter Summer and SIL Josh have just been granted legal guardianship of three young brothers from Africa.

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You know New Jersey is referred to as the Garden State, right? The Jersey kids and grands live in the land of u-pick strawberry farms, pumpkin patches, and fields and orchards. Today we visited Terhune Orchards in Princeton. For a quarter, you can buy goat food and make a local friend.

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The Parents are coming home today after a quick flight to Africa to keep an adoption court date.

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This grandma has been on Eastern Standard Time for more than a week, which means she now has her east coast sea legs under her. And she’s learned some things in the process. Like, there’s very little hot chocolate in a cup of hot chocolate where The Boy and I had breakfast one morning.

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