What if we got the exact wound we needed?

My quarantine gave me time to reflect on how I arrived at this abundant place—belonging to this new husband, enjoying this lovely, peace-filled home, this graced season.

I arrived via woundedness.

What if you got exactly the wound you needed in order to become the person you have become, to fulfill the destiny you are called to create, that ‘sacred wound’ in which you were hurt in exactly the way life needed you to be? – Joie Foster

Photo by Joe Gardner on Unsplash

We missed my grandson’s wedding on the other side of the mountains because I tested positive for COVID. We cancelled a commitment to help our friends who were feeding a rambunctious crew of teenagers at the end of a river float. We declined dinner at a food truck with some of our favorite people.

The quarantine meant long hours sitting and dozing on the couch and eventually in an Adirondack chair in the warm sunshine. It meant time to read and pray and think and write, sipping gallons of cinnamon spice tea and munching on saltine crackers, leaving crumbs everywhere.

At some point, in between reading books and trying to get creative in filling up those interminable sitting-still moments, I said to Dan, “Do you want to hear all the things I love about you?”

He rolled his eyes, but it didn’t deter me in the least. “I love how you run to help other people. I love your sense of humor. I love that you enjoy my cooking. I love that you love your family and mine. I love that you appreciate getting outdoors as much as I do.”

The list was actually quite long.

Yes, I arrived at this abundant place by way of deep loss and heartbreak, and at the time I didn’t consider it a sacred wound. But I see it now for what it is as it shaped me more into kindness, compassion, and empathy, as it brought me more into a desperate dependency upon my heavenly Father.

I became more weathered, in a good way. I learned more gratitude, more contentment. More releasing of things beyond my control.


If you find yourself in an unplanned slowing-down place, could it be an unexpected gift with time to ponder and read and let the most important people in your life know how much they mean to you?

If you find yourself in a place of woundedness, could you come to think of it as a discovery of the destiny you were created for … even if the pain is hard and it doesn’t feel as if any good could ever, ever come from it?

The rest of Joie Foster’s quote goes like this:

It is profound to realize that your life, exactly the way it is—filled with failures and frustrations, as well as miracles and extraordinary moments—is a masterpiece.

The Apostle Paul wrote this in a letter to the ancient church at Philippi:

There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.

— Philippians 1:6, The Message

In love, God allowed my woundedness. It was part of the good work He started in me. And it sculpted me into the person I have become. It formed my current “for such a time as this” place.

My purpose in life isn’t just about me. It’s for the people God has placed in my path. I was created to be exactly where I find myself, surrounded by all my people and all Dan’s people.

And it was my sacred wound that got me here.

The most important ‘more’ lesson? I can trust God more with the hard and holy things of life.


But I like it here on the couch


Because food is one of the ways we love each other


  1. Paulette Zimmerman

    Thank you for the reminder that God does “work all things together for good” – even the setbacks and suffering! The challenge is to release control and trust that God IS working, even in the darkest moments of life. I’m sorry you missed Titus’ wedding but thankful that you were willing to use that sadness to encourage me and so many others.

  2. I’m still in the place of wounding, Marlys, but see light at the end of the tunnel. God has been using this time of loss to focus my attention on Him and the ways He wants me to serve and cherish Him. I have hope that the best is yet to come.

    • God used my loss for the very same reason, Julie – to create a desperate dependency upon Him. And it was a good and sweet thing. I love that you see light at the end of the tunnel.

  3. Felecia Jones

    What a great reminder of God’s love for us. See, I was feeling a little down this morning, no particular reason. I put on the classical music and grabbed my Bella Grace magazine. My next story to read was yours. If there is a story that touches me, I try to learn all I can about the author. After reading, I immediately went to your website and read the blog for today. Thank you for being open and honest with the great woman that you are. I think if you live long enough, wounded seasons come and give you purpose and are the stair steps to your true lives meaning. I recalled my wounded season and how God restored my spirit and soul. He is such a good Father! He even knew what I needed to read today. My down feelings are gone and love feels my heart again. Be blessed my sister.❤

    • I love this, Felecia: “I think if you live long enough, wounded seasons come and give you purpose and are the stair steps to your true lives meaning.” I’m so glad you’re at the place where God restored your soul and spirit. Blessings to you.

  4. Roxanne

    You just put to words what I am going thru! Thanks and God Bless!

  5. Peter

    In these difficult times of continually seeing my Barbara’s pain & suffering, being helpless whilst trying our best to make things better for her, there will be that glimpse of the real Barbara, in her smile, or the Ooo’s & Ah’s, the words she finds… beautiful, gorgeous etc, as she sees new photographs of our newest great grand son. That’s when God takes me/our sons to that place ‘beyond’.. our senses are alert and we thank Him. Yet He is always there for each of us, we are just sometimes too consumed by the hurt we are enduring. Loved how you put it Marlys, God Bless you & yours from me & mine, get well soon. Bx P

    • Peter, I think some of our most painful wounds come from watching the ones we love suffer. My new husband Dan and I both understand what your heart must be feeling during this season with your beloved Barbara. Love and blessings to you.

  6. Peter

    For sure it is true, thank you for you words of compassion. The photo’ you used.. is it the Siq, leading into the city of Old Petra… if so, we remember walking the Siq, oh how the rock colour/strata changes at different times of the day. Our love Bx P

  7. Allison

    So beautifully stated! God uses all the hard times to refine and refocus our lives. It’s been a true blessing to watch God work in your holy moments. It provides hope and a sense of peace for those times I’m stuck in self-pity. Thank you for sharing your heart.

    • Marlys Lawry

      Well said, Allison: “God uses all the hard times to refine and refocus our lives.” Two of my favorite “RE” words: refine and refocus!

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