Daughter Summer and I actually accomplished a good deal from the couch on Tuesday in between the remembering and laughing and crying. We drew up to-do lists. A draft of Hubby’s Celebration of Life service. Lists of family coming with possible housing solutions. I’m actually a list addict. I’ve been known to complete something, and then add it to my list so I can check it off. Pathetic, right?

And then I came across this forgotten list tucked away in a hidden flap of my wallet. Written by Hubby a while back. Apparently I’m not the only list-maker in the family.


1 a3x-listof10


I like #4. This was a man with a wry sense of humor who kept me laughing for forty-one years.

In addition to to-do lists, I keep a running thanksgiving list:

897. This peace that surpasses all explanation

898. Daughter Summer. Here. Son, daughter-in-law, son-in-law and grandkidlets on the way

899. Incredible people who are helping carry my load in so many loving and practical ways

900. Dark gray sky as backdrop to frozen snow (who knew gray and white could be so beautiful)

901. Hope following death

902. The promise from God that—despite the awful loneliness most assuredly hiding around the corner waiting to pounce on me—I will never, ever be alone

I marvel that I’m not feeling more sorrow. But if I think about it, Hubby and I did our grieving at different points along the way these past ten years.

And so I enter this next stage of the journey. That of cancer widow. I look forward to learning the lessons God wants to teach me in this phase. And you can bet I’ll continue my list-making. But until then, I would be honored to have friends and family join us to celebrate a life well lived. Hubby’s.

Saturday, Nov 29 – 11:00am

New Hope Church

20080 Pinebrook Blvd; Bend, Oregon.